I have a purple, suede-topped book engraved with the word “journal” in all capital letters. This is the journal I shared with Samantha, one of my best friends who lives in Florida (while I live here in Massachusetts). Sometimes I’ll take this journal out because it reminds me of her. Sometimes I take it out because it reminds me of me. Younger me. Innocent me. Innocent us. Notes and cards are slipped into this journal. Evidence of arguments and betrayals, of forgiveness and sisterhood. Notes on index cards. Notes on graph paper. A note on a Hall Pass for Anton V. Games of MASH on paper napkins. A bookmark with a scene from Willow. A postcard from Spain. Awful sketches of girls with no distinguishable feet (because I could never seem to draw them). Little pieces of our history, etched out in our differing handwriting, her pen pressed a little heavier down, her letters vertically straight while mine tilt to the right in makeshift cursive reminiscent of my father’s slanted markings:
[Front of page]
Me: I GOT IN! To the leaD scholars program—I found out yesterday. So I’m going to orientation June 16 + 17 instd. of JuLY!
Sammy: Awesome! Congrats Lex I’m proud of you! ☺
thank you thank you
hehe. so what else is up? anything else new happen?
NOT REALLY, well except for the move of course.
how about you?…
Nothing else really new for me either. This is incredibly boring. When are we allowed to talk and stuff?
[Back of page]
seriously? we have to be like this all class?
I think so—man this yogurt sed it should be sold by April 27 it tasted wierd—Then I smelled it!
yea, the live + active cultures have prob. been dead for a MONTH!
hahahaha!! I bet!
would you like a cracker?
No thanks. would you like to move closer (nudge, nudge jk) and listen to BFS or fall out boy or fiction plane or something?
Yea, after I sign this YB.
It’s funny, because the journal itself is mostly empty, except for the lyrics to a Bowling for Soup song and a note addressed to me that ends with love. And notes like the ones above, have become a symbol of our awkwardness, our humor, and our support for each other, despite the message that I’m about to leave for what will now be going on six years.
On one occasion, I wrote, “Dear Sammy, SO MUCH happened this weekend and I want you to know all of it.” It was probably the year of high school graduation. And since 2005, Sammy, so much has happened. I hope someday you’ll learn all of it.
There is no occasion for this post. Sammy’s birthday was in December, but I think it is important to keep the memories of your friends, no matter the distance, close. And for anyone who misses a friend dearly, this one is for you.